Foreigner – Siberia?It is sooooo cold there.
SerbinDubai -No, no, not that one.
Foreigner – Oh yeah you mean Syria? Pooooor you guys it is war there.
SerbinDubai – Not even that one. Seee-erb-iiii-aaaa.
Foreigner – O.o
Common mistakes made by foreigners. Although we can have both of these elements our country is pretty stable these days. With the population of the average street in India, Serbia found a spot in heart of the Balkan. Land of beautiful women (yep, the tall ones which turn your head clockwise when you walk on JBR), loud guys in the pub, ajvar and rakija. The place where everyone is a brother to everyone and every daughter is a son.
People from this super-cool-awesome place are easily recognizable. That moment when you are feeling like a hobbit and all you can see are men’s belts, probably means nearby are some Serbs. (Especially if in the same place there is promotion of beer (if anyone wondered 1 Hoegaarden$ = 10 Zaječarca$) or some happy hour event). Thanks to our friend radiation ,you guys can now easily navigate yourself in huge crowds. No GPS needed.
Situation no.2 – You are enjoying the nice weather on JBR or Kite beach when suddenly a bunch of people come and start playing loud music with a lot of bottles of coke with unusual color inside.⇓
The guys are playing with the ball and there is 56% chances that they will hit you. If you are a hot girl these chances increase up to 99% because we take term “hitting on the girl” seriously. People are complaining but the only thing you can hear is ” Vidi onu , vidi ovu , vidi onu , vidi ovu”.
Situation no.3 – It is a Beautiful Friday in December and you woke up early to enjoy that beautiful morning on your balcony. You didn’t even brush your teeth but loud annoying sounds are coming from the other side of the park. You look up through your window and figure out that all your laundry is now smelling on ćevapi and pljeskavice. Kids are yelling all around the place and no-one is trying to keep them calm. Pissed and frustrated you go downstairs determined to show these guys rules of the building!. 4 hours later you already know to dance kolo and people call you “Kralju”. Your wife is back from a casual shopping in MOE and in disbelief sees new side of you. Guys are giving dirty comments on your wife but you don’t care because according to them “This is all normal. Sit relax and take one coke “.⇓
Sometimes it can be confusing when you are on these kind of events and you want to remember all these names but everyone is calling each other brate. O.o Just stop trying and go with the flow because you might stumble upon something like Nebojša, Živorad or Dragiša. Forget about last names.
Sport time:
I dare you to find any sport activity in this city where you won’t find a Serb. (For cricket, golf and rugby we are still investigating where is the Goal). Naturally sports are having two halves (1+break+1). In our case this is a little bit different. Second half is mother of all sports and usually comes 10 minutes after game. It comes in liquid form and usually you can see more Serbs in second half then on actual game. This is the time where we swear on each other first 10 mins and then discuss about the next game tactic – especially one which will be played on Friday night at P25.
Working time:
Serbs like to work. This is in our blood. There is no better feeling than earning money and invest in your home on some beautiful antique sculpture like lion on throne or swan in flight. But besides that fact we invented formula TDK = YDK* a.k.a biggest HR enemy. Using this mathematical logic (čast izuzecima) Serbs infiltrated in every single sector in this beautiful country. So whatever you need in life or for your business there is gonna be one Serb to fulfill your requirement. That’s where following expression came from -“Guy who knows the guy”.
Other:
- Doesn’t go out if recently washed the hair.
- Climb up to the table when there is a party.
- Using rakija for every disease.
- Always first in the queue when buffet is served.
- Has mini pharmacy store at home.
- Always start conversation on skype – Hi, can you hear me? Yes, can you hear me.? I can hear you but can you hear me? Yes i can hear you.
- Always say- We will talk about that . Never called again.
……………………………………..to be continued………………………………… TDK=YDK – They Don’t Know that You Don’t Know More on this in next chapters…….
